Season 2: Post Twenty-One.
Discontent. I don’t know if anyone else gets this, but I never feel content. Not necessarily a bad thing, it means I’m constantly hungry for the next level. I always want to reach the next stage; I want to do more, see more, run further, lift heavier, look better, progress in my career, be more creative, extend my creativity beyond just a hobby. That’s all positive in my eyes. It does, however, mean that sometimes I get this burning sensation in my mind, a little niggle of doubt as to whether I am doing the right things in order to progress. Is my day job really worth the time? Do I live in the right place? Should I be doing more creatively? Are my creative endeavours the right type for me?
I often look at my biggest inspirations, the people I admire. For me personally, I do not wish to have anyone else’s life but my own. I don’t worship people to the point where I would trade my position for theirs. There’s definitely aspects to the lives of those who inspire me most that I would like, but I definitely wouldn’t want to trade with anyone. The question is, how do I go about this feeling? Obviously, it’s good to embrace it and use it as motivation to push forward but sometimes, when I’m sat in a meeting at work thinking “is this the best I can do?” you start doubting whether the future will hold more success in the areas I wish to progress forward in.
I suppose it’s the life analogy of it being like a rollercoaster. People will describe success as climbing a mountain, however I would disagree with it being a mountain as there isn’t really a top point or summit to achieving success or goals. All the areas I wish to achieve goals in require constant maintenance, in which you increment progress bit by bit, often you slump back down and feel like it isn’t going anywhere, only to progress a bit further than you did before by ticking another milestone.
I guess I should outline the areas I wish to succeed in, that way I can measure my progress in achieving things. So, here goes, I guess:
1. Creating Content: I look up to creators like Casey Neistat. Now he is obviously a film maker and I am not, however, I’d love to be in a position like his within music creation. To own a studio space, have a captive audience at my disposal, to be recognised for the work I do. That’s definitely a goal of mine.
2. The band: Ghouls have hit milestones that I always dreamed of hitting as a kid: touring overseas, playing big venues, supporting artists, the list goes on. However, it is in our song writing and releases that I feel I’d like us to progress in. This obviously starts by writing and recording, then releasing a record that will be held in significance. I’m proud of the material we have out at the moment but I think we have better in us. I don’t want to get old and know that the band never released the record we have the potential of making, hopefully our next body of work will be somewhere close to that.
3. Various Personal Goals: These vary from, run a sub 3-hour marathon to own a house. The general life goals that I’m sure everybody has. I know how to achieve many of these but it’s just about making sure I do. There’s also a balance to be found; with these types of goal, the other two areas of focus can sometimes detract from achieving them or perhaps sometimes these general goals can hinder the progress within achieving the goals in the other two areas. This is especially difficult due to my creative content and the band not fuelling me financially. That’s not to say I feel these goals are any less or more important, it’s just about compartmentalising the goals into a priority order that will result in my happiness and contentment.
Perhaps, life and to be living means to never settle and to constantly strive for more.
Anyway, I started this week off with a 2-mile swim. DOMs from this weekend still a bit real for the foot miles, back at it again tomorrow though.