Seasonal Affective.

I try my best with the seasons. I really do. Typically, I tend to find that the apprehension of the colder and darker seasons arriving is worse than going through them in real time. As winter approaches, here in the UK, the light comes later and fades earlier, it's colder and it typically feels more... Continue Reading →

Embrace the panic attack.

My anxieties have gone through the roof over the last few days. I have been a bit of a mess. Mild to severe panic attacks are a daily occurrence for me and over the many years of having them, I'm very good at recognising and dealing with them. My point of call with a panic... Continue Reading →

Just another person living.

I think my biggest fear in life is living as "just another person". The thing is, I am just another person to most people. To the thousands of people I walk past and never interact with, those I know who don't get to know me more than on the surface level and even those ignorant people... Continue Reading →

Ghouls: the end of an era.

Approaching this post is hard. In a lot of ways it should be easy because there is simply so much I could say. So many stories, so many places, so many people. The band has been the most significant part of the last 10 years of my life. This weekend just gone, we capped it... Continue Reading →

anti-impostor syndrome

Impostor syndrome (also known as impostorphenomenon, impostorism, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience) is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a "fraud". Thats a straight copy and paste from wikipedia. I thought I'd stick it there just to clarify what is... Continue Reading →

The plight of the morning runner

I get up at 5:40am on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. I get up at 6:20am on Saturday and Sunday. On Wednesday I get up at 6am on the hour. On Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and either Saturday or Sunday (sometimes both) I run. Other than your usual bathroom antics and a quick drive to... Continue Reading →

Life update #1

Oh my, oh my. Rollercoaster of emotions this week. Not an extreme rollercoaster, more like a tame local theme park's rickety fun ride than some ludicrous machine in Alton Towers. Still though, I've felt the ups and downs this week and my best solution is to write about it on the internet. This week has... Continue Reading →

Rain.

There's nothing miserable about the rain. The rain itself is just liquid falling from the sky, providing life and essentials to the life that resides here on earth. Why then do we hold so much emotion to the rain? Why would it create a dampened mood? I love the rain. I know, right, weirdo. But... Continue Reading →

Moving.

Tomorrow I finally move out. On February 19th 2018, I moved from my humble little studio flat in Bushey where I'd been living by myself, back to my parents house in Cambridgeshire. At the time it felt bitter sweet to be leaving the Hertfordshire-London boundaries; I'd established a life there that not many people who... Continue Reading →

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